Sharing with Purpose: Lessons from Mister Rogers
4 Powerful Ways to Honor Your Writing and Connect with Readers
A primary question I help writers with is how to share what you create in a manner that feels meaningful and fulfilling. A process that fills you up, instead of sapping your energy. One where you connect with engaged readers, not faceless numbers of “followers.” Where the result is a life you dreamed of as a writer: creating, publishing, and knowing your work connects with readers in ways that make their lives better. You inspire them, you educate them, you help them see the world and themselves in new ways.
Not long ago, my youngest son watched every episode of the TV show, Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood, twice. That is 1,780 episodes back-to-back. The voice of Fred Rogers, the host of the show, has been ringing in my head for awhile now. I rewatched a couple of documentaries about Fred, and have been considering his consistent focus on his mission that spanned decades.
Today I want to share lessons from his inspiration on how writers can best share their work in meaningful ways with readers. Let’s dig in…
Get Radically Clear About Your Message
Sharing begins with clear communication and trust. To me, this has always been the foundation of what we tend to call an ‘author platform.’ This, as opposed to the fickleness of vying for more “followers” who may never really read what you share, and never buy your books.
When I work with a writer to help them establish their platform, engage their ideal readers, or launch their books, one of the first things we work on is what I call Key Messages: a series of statements that clearly communicate the themes you write about, and why they matter to you.
Fred hosted Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood for more than three decades. The show started out simply and never really modernized. Its message was clear and consistent, focusing on foundational things in human beings that never change.
I encourage you to get radically clear about the themes you write about. This applies if you write nonfiction, memoir, fiction, poetry, etc. Having a clear mission and set of themes sets a solid basis for not only what you share, but how you engage readers consistently over time.
A decade into his program, Fred worried that he had covered all the topics he could, and put the show on pause. He soon came back and continued to produce shows for decades more. I assure you, just like Fred Rogers, you will never run out of things to say.
There are thousands of unique ways to explore the same narrow theme. And likely, your work will grow and evolve slowly, adding nuance and additional topics along the way. How you share is a craft. I encourage you to consider how you can explore the themes you write about better than anyone, in a way that is immersive to your ideal readers.
Do Less and Slow Down
I find that doing less and slowing down is more difficult to do in our media-centric world. People are sharing in more places, more often, and in a greater variety of ways. It’s easy to look around and see others doing more, more, more — and feel envious, like this is something you are required to do. Or, in seeing others succeed in this manner, that it is the only logical path.
One of the most shocking aspects of how Fred Rogers shared, whether it was on his show or in an interview, is the slow pace. He spoke slowly, and included a lot of silence between moments. His show was slower than most other shows, even back in the 1970s. If you watch an interview with him, it feels as though he and the interviewer are speaking at entirely different speeds. At first, I would see an interviewer try to speed Fred up. Yet invariably, Fred won out, slowing them down to his pace, and his level of thoughtfulness.
So often, we feel pressure to align to the energy level and pacing of others. I encourage you to set your own pace, and to feel good about it.
Yes, I still believe that sharing frequently matters, but not if you are rushing and overwhelmed all the time. There are so many people I really admire who I see sharing 10 or 20 times a day on Instagram, for instance. I love what they share! And that can easily make me feel, “Gee, if I want to succeed, I need to do that too.”
But then I consider the craft of what I share. The experience of how I hope to engage with readers. And I slow down. I focus on doing a few things each week, and doing them really well. I encourage you to do that too, however you define it.
Be Less Reactive to Trends
Each decade, new trends would take other programs to soaring popularity and each year, Fred ignored them. Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood never got a makeover in the 70s to get more groovy, or one in the 80s to align to neon trends on Nickelodeon, or in the 90s as Barney and Teletubbies went on to stratospheric success. Even if you look at Sesame Street, you can see that show modernize again and again each decade.
Trends can be really tempting to follow. Why? Because they offer a quicker path to social validation. I see this on TikTok and Instagram all the time, but it exists everywhere. Something feels fresh and new, and people you really admire start aligning to the trend. It can be soooooo difficult to ignore it. It can feel that you aren’t being included with the “in crowd” and that you are missing out on an opportunity to take advantage of all “the eyeballs” that this trend is garnering.
But trends can also be exhausting to keep up with, figure out, determine how to get good at them quickly, and judge when they are peaking and “over.” It also puts you in a constant mode of being reactive to things outside your control.
Instead, I encourage you to be more proactive in doing a few things really well. Those ways of sharing that matter deeply to you, and you can build on again and again.
Years ago when I first started blogging, I quickly learned that I could react to a piece of news with a blog post and get on the homepage of Techmeme, a big technology news aggregation site. It felt amazing to get that recognition. Until… I realized that it was the hollowest version of what I could share. The tricks I learned were always paper thin, and the blog posts I created had basically zero value a few days later once 1,000 other news sources covered the same topic.
So I made a massive shift to focus on writing longer form essays that only I could write. I wanted my writing to be relevant to people not only in the first 12 hours of publication, but 12 years later. Looking back on nearly two decades of writing in this manner, it feels deeply fulfilling.
Leverage the Power of Full Attention
One of the most powerful gifts you can give someone is your attention — to truly see and hear them. This is something Fred Rogers was known for. People would say that when talking with him, you felt as though he was completely present in the conversation, as if no one else in the world existed.
So often, we are encouraged to focus on gaining more followers, more subscribers, and vie for more likes online from strangers. The goal is presented as numbers alone, not meaningful experiences and engagement. I have spoken to writers and artists who have tens of thousands of followers and tell me they have no idea who these people are or what engages them. They feel woefully distant from knowing what to share to engage these people.
Yet I find that when you focus on the people right in front of you, magic can happen. Having 100 followers can be incredible if you truly engage with them.
Recently, several posts I have shared on Substack have garnered way more attention than I’ve had in the past. Are the numbers fascinating to me? Of course. But that is the tiniest tip of the iceberg. What I have been spending my time doing is engaging with each person who comments, learning their names, and looking at what they share on their own Substacks. My focus is on connection. Does this take way more time? Yep! Is it also an incredible privilege and joy? YES!!!!
It is a choice to be fully present with those who appreciate what you share, and align to the themes you write about. I simply encourage you to be present in these moments.
Please let me know in the comments: of the ideas listed above, which resonates most deeply with you and why:
Get Radically Clear About Your Message
Do Less and Slow Down
Be Less Reactive to Trends
Leverage the Power of Full Attention
Thank you for being here with me.
-Dan
P.S.: For my paid subscribers this week, I shared a video titled "Your voice deserves to be heard: Make writing & sharing a non-negotiable part of your life.” You can view a preview and become a paid subscriber here.
Kids of the Week: the big guy looks to Manhattan in the distance. The little fella writes a story in his brand new “mystery solvers notebook,” as he calls it. It begins, ‘Wuns upon u time…”
I really enjoyed this article perhaps because I am slowing down myself and properly reading the articles I enjoy which are often yours but sometimes I don’t get round to reading them all. Doing less and slowing down really made me smile as it’s on my own agenda. Key messages is something I am going to ponder on thank you for sharing
I recently ran across another quote from Fred Rogers that I find helpful. "It's really easy to fall into the trap of believing that what we do is more important than what we are. Of course, it's the opposite that's true: What we are ultimately determines what we do!"