I do have a small story about asking. I was about to get out of the service (Army), and was still attending university. I needed a civilian job to support myself. I was working weekends at a civilian hospital, where nights were done on an on call basis. I knew that the techs (I was a lab tech) did not exactly like this duty. I wrote a proposal on what duties could go on a third shift, showing that it was financially viable. I gave it to our lab manager, and I got the job.
Happy Birthday Barbara! And thanks for this reminder. I have never been good at asking for anything, even as an athlete when I was learning the importance of advocating for yourself or your teammates with coaches, sponsors, press, etc. I always remember one piece of advice from a friend when I was at a low point: “Ask! Just ask for something. If you don’t like what you got ask for something else next time.” I still think of that when I’m stuck. Thanks again for this!
Great article with an important reminder. Years ago, I asked a sales-person on the floor of a large
convention what he thought about a marketing idea I had for a book. He wasn't impressed, but took my info. Six months later, he asked if I had written the book which I had. Six months later I had a book contract with Carl Fischer Music Publications. Turns out the guy was the CEO of the company.
Happy birthday, Barbara! 🎂🥂And thank you, Dan. There’s lots of food for thought here for the Substack I’ll be launching mid-July to help people reach their daily walking targets. I’m better at making connections in person than on the page so far, but I’m working on it!
Dan! You're my hero! First of all...Brene Brown! And I showed the pictures of you and Muhammed Ali to Dave; he loved it. This is a motivating article. I am going to do some asks today. Thanks for the push. This helps me take more pride in what I do. My process is slow. Substack is my first social media platform. And I am honoring my slow process and posting what I write. To me that is big...huge! To put my thoughts and words before folks that are true writers. This process of asking is awesome.
Happy birthday to Barbara! She can be proud of her son and herself because she modeled genuine connections to him.
Love this post, Dan although slightly envious that you've met Brené in person.
My favourite Ali quote: '“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. The hands can't hit what the eyes can't see.”
Thanks for affirming the need for a direct ask. This is true not only in our writing but also in the way we assert ourselves as caregivers on behalf of loved ones and ourselves. Part of my mantra is 'Never Assume, ask'. Often, we can talk ourselves out of the best ideas and questions or dilute the essential ask. My caregiver's lens, thank you!
First and foremost, Happy Birthday to the Mama who taught you such amazing lessons and brought you up to be the person you are! There was a challenge called 50 asks. It sounded so cool. I didn't get far. Because it's about worthiness. Barbara did a really good job at making you feel worthy! I have been very intentional this year about being engaged in every single interaction with humans i have. I am present, make a deepr commet or a joke with everyone. The Walmart checkout people or the person I pass walking their dog. It is immensely satisfying to human with humans. Now to deeply apply it to my work! TY Dan.
Really enjoyed this post, Dan. And it truly does make so much sense. I was in sales for a lot of years, and one thing my mentor taught me early on was to 'ask for the sale.' It seems so simple, but often, people forget to do it or are afraid to ask. This post is such a good reminder! Thanks!
As I was reading the timeline of your family's businesses, I thought of something, Dan: it seems to me that experiencing the ways in which your parents connected to the people they were serving, as well as the manner in which they communicated, influenced the work you do today. I mean, your background in communications, the way you encourage your readers to return to what we value, and how you live your own values, make so much sense now that I have a bit of history about your family.
The only reason I mention this is that the way you go about your work with creative people is rare, unusual. Meaning: most people approach marketing from their business theories and by using specific formats or "best practices," as you mention often. But you are always looking at each individual reaching out to you, even if it's a "thank you (plus name)!" The effect is that we feel valued, seen, and heard, and I know that's what you want to do above all else. And by modeling it for us, you are teaching us how we can apply those principles to what we do, as well.
Happy birthday, Barbara! You raised a great son who inspires people and helps them to reach their goals. What a legacy! I hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead is filled with blessings.
Great post, Dan! I can’t wait to read the sequel: What Authors Can Learn About Book Launches from Selling Avon in the 1970s. As I read the list of business activities that your parents took part in, I started thinking about my dad. Daddy was a bank manager in West Monroe, Louisiana. He knew everybody, and I mean everybody in west Ouachita Parish. He took me to the livestock auction once. The sale pen was full of goats. Suddenly, the auctioneer turned to Daddy and shouted, “He’ll take ‘em all!” I was scandalized but Daddy just laughed (and we didn’t end up with the goats). Daddy’s secret sauce was that he was an excellent listener. He was on the receiving end of people’s asks as they came into the bank needing loans. He saw people in desperate straits who were often in shame as they came in seeking financial assistance. This was in the “old days” when the bank manager was also the decision maker about loans. Even when he told people ‘no’ he still treated them with respect. I haven’t thought about this for a long time but it gives me new love for my father. Thanks for inspiring this memory and giving me something important to think about along with your lesson in asking. Best wishes from Oregon!
I do have a small story about asking. I was about to get out of the service (Army), and was still attending university. I needed a civilian job to support myself. I was working weekends at a civilian hospital, where nights were done on an on call basis. I knew that the techs (I was a lab tech) did not exactly like this duty. I wrote a proposal on what duties could go on a third shift, showing that it was financially viable. I gave it to our lab manager, and I got the job.
Nice! Love that. Thanks Bonnie!
Happy Birthday Barbara! And thanks for this reminder. I have never been good at asking for anything, even as an athlete when I was learning the importance of advocating for yourself or your teammates with coaches, sponsors, press, etc. I always remember one piece of advice from a friend when I was at a low point: “Ask! Just ask for something. If you don’t like what you got ask for something else next time.” I still think of that when I’m stuck. Thanks again for this!
That’s great advice! Thank you Edie!
Great article with an important reminder. Years ago, I asked a sales-person on the floor of a large
convention what he thought about a marketing idea I had for a book. He wasn't impressed, but took my info. Six months later, he asked if I had written the book which I had. Six months later I had a book contract with Carl Fischer Music Publications. Turns out the guy was the CEO of the company.
OMG, amazing! Thank you Jill.
Happy birthday, Barbara! 🎂🥂And thank you, Dan. There’s lots of food for thought here for the Substack I’ll be launching mid-July to help people reach their daily walking targets. I’m better at making connections in person than on the page so far, but I’m working on it!
Thank you Julia!!!
Dan! You're my hero! First of all...Brene Brown! And I showed the pictures of you and Muhammed Ali to Dave; he loved it. This is a motivating article. I am going to do some asks today. Thanks for the push. This helps me take more pride in what I do. My process is slow. Substack is my first social media platform. And I am honoring my slow process and posting what I write. To me that is big...huge! To put my thoughts and words before folks that are true writers. This process of asking is awesome.
Happy birthday to Barbara! She can be proud of her son and herself because she modeled genuine connections to him.
Awe, thank you Mary Beth!
Happy Birthday, Barbara!
Love this post, Dan although slightly envious that you've met Brené in person.
My favourite Ali quote: '“Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. The hands can't hit what the eyes can't see.”
Thanks for affirming the need for a direct ask. This is true not only in our writing but also in the way we assert ourselves as caregivers on behalf of loved ones and ourselves. Part of my mantra is 'Never Assume, ask'. Often, we can talk ourselves out of the best ideas and questions or dilute the essential ask. My caregiver's lens, thank you!
Awe, thank you Victoria!
First and foremost, Happy Birthday to the Mama who taught you such amazing lessons and brought you up to be the person you are! There was a challenge called 50 asks. It sounded so cool. I didn't get far. Because it's about worthiness. Barbara did a really good job at making you feel worthy! I have been very intentional this year about being engaged in every single interaction with humans i have. I am present, make a deepr commet or a joke with everyone. The Walmart checkout people or the person I pass walking their dog. It is immensely satisfying to human with humans. Now to deeply apply it to my work! TY Dan.
Love that! Thank you so much Shalagh!
Really enjoyed this post, Dan. And it truly does make so much sense. I was in sales for a lot of years, and one thing my mentor taught me early on was to 'ask for the sale.' It seems so simple, but often, people forget to do it or are afraid to ask. This post is such a good reminder! Thanks!
Such good advice! Thank you Jeanine.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BARBARA!
As I was reading the timeline of your family's businesses, I thought of something, Dan: it seems to me that experiencing the ways in which your parents connected to the people they were serving, as well as the manner in which they communicated, influenced the work you do today. I mean, your background in communications, the way you encourage your readers to return to what we value, and how you live your own values, make so much sense now that I have a bit of history about your family.
The only reason I mention this is that the way you go about your work with creative people is rare, unusual. Meaning: most people approach marketing from their business theories and by using specific formats or "best practices," as you mention often. But you are always looking at each individual reaching out to you, even if it's a "thank you (plus name)!" The effect is that we feel valued, seen, and heard, and I know that's what you want to do above all else. And by modeling it for us, you are teaching us how we can apply those principles to what we do, as well.
Awe, thank you for looking at that so deeply Jeannie! I so appreciate it. Yes, I learned so much from my parents.
Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it!
I look at everything deeply, Dan. It's a gift of being highly sensitive, I suppose.
This was a brilliant read. It was so encouraging and helpful. Happy Birthday Barbara! God bless her!
Thank you!
You're welcome!
Happy Birthday, Barbara and thank you for the reminder to ask! Dan, I’m a big Brene fan and loved that she called you back too.
Thank you Tracy!
Happy Birthday Barbara! Thanks for the lessons!
Thanks Mary!
And, happy birthday, Barbara!!
Thanks Etta!
Happy birthday, Barbara! You raised a great son who inspires people and helps them to reach their goals. What a legacy! I hope you have a wonderful day and that the year ahead is filled with blessings.
Great post, Dan! I can’t wait to read the sequel: What Authors Can Learn About Book Launches from Selling Avon in the 1970s. As I read the list of business activities that your parents took part in, I started thinking about my dad. Daddy was a bank manager in West Monroe, Louisiana. He knew everybody, and I mean everybody in west Ouachita Parish. He took me to the livestock auction once. The sale pen was full of goats. Suddenly, the auctioneer turned to Daddy and shouted, “He’ll take ‘em all!” I was scandalized but Daddy just laughed (and we didn’t end up with the goats). Daddy’s secret sauce was that he was an excellent listener. He was on the receiving end of people’s asks as they came into the bank needing loans. He saw people in desperate straits who were often in shame as they came in seeking financial assistance. This was in the “old days” when the bank manager was also the decision maker about loans. Even when he told people ‘no’ he still treated them with respect. I haven’t thought about this for a long time but it gives me new love for my father. Thanks for inspiring this memory and giving me something important to think about along with your lesson in asking. Best wishes from Oregon!
Love hearing those stories — thank you Tara!!!
Many, many happy returns, Barbara!
Thanks Elinor!
Happy birthday, Barbara! Thanks for the great advice. My dad used to say something similar. "The worst thing that will happen will be a no."
Thanks Maureen!