Your timing is impeccable, Dan. Last week Meta asked me to fill out a survey that included all kinds of questions about how I felt about the value their various services did or did not add to my personal life and to the world as a whole. I had one (qualified) semi-positive thing to say and realized that all of my other answers were deeply negative. Not for the first time, I wanted to trash the whole thing. And not for the first time I thought, "If I wasn't an author who has been encouraged to engage readers through social media, I'd delete my accounts today."
I also realized how much I miss the Internet of the Aughties, which was largely blog-based. I loved that Internet. I published my own blog and followed about a dozen, very deliberately and with complete joy. There was no algorithm pushing me to look at or like or follow anything other than what I found myself. And finding a creator out there you didn't know about was like finding something precious at a flea market.
I think I would be happier by leaving social media and focusing on growing my Substacks (one writer-oriented and one reader-oriented), which is a lot like blogging. I'm going to be thinking about what I really want to do during the remainder of the year. I've been positioning 2025 as kind of a sabbatical year for me after publishing six books in six years. A year when I can focus on writing and on my own real life as my now-widowed mother and mother-in-law need more love and attention, my son is entering his last couple years of high school, and we have two international trips planned. It seems a natural time to deactivate my Facebook and Instagram accounts and just see how life feels when I do (I predict it will feel great).
It's interesting you state that if it weren't for being an author, you'd never be on Facebook. That's exactly my experience. I never post anything personal there and now I've given up on my FB author page too. I'm leaving it out there but not investing any time or effort on it.
I started my blog 12 years ago and "had to" open social media accounts. Now Instagram is where all my favorite people are. I just saved my blog from technological annihilation and joined Substack to try to recreat that community you mentioned we all used to have. Thanks for reminding me of that time. I hope to gain back that feeling again somehow.
I feel all this, Erin. Totally get it. I've said so many times to friends in private, "If I wasn't trying to be a professional author, I'd get off socials."
I’ve been trying a social media fast lately. Kinda the opposite of yours, Dan. No scrolling. No reading the overwhelmingly political posts on my feed right now. I post pictures of my garden, dogs, and painting space and enjoy the conversation about them with a small group of responders. My spouse is also doing this. The big aha: We are astonished at how much freed-up time and better overall mood we both have. I am aware that my book promotion is still ongoing (and as one of the novels was selected for a book of the month club I may need to engage again). But I’m curating the whole process much more thoughtfully. Just can’t get over how much time and inner space the fast has given me!
I too have gravitated to pictures of my flowers and bugs and birds and some sounds. Even though I have a book launch this fall, I'm trying to grab each day and breathe it in. Life is good.
I absolutely love this essay. I’ve been working on an essay titled « Why I’m Quiet Quitting Social Media. » It’s about using social media in more strategic, targeted ways as a writer to engage my readers rather than spending hours scrolling or worrying about how each of my posts is performing. It can be tough, particularly because social media is so inconsistent. Some days lots of people see my work and other days a very small number sees it. It can feel disheartening, so I am very much aligned in your thinking on how to use it more deliberately.
This is a timely post as I think about how to spend precious time. Thank you. Trying to do everything conventional wisdom tell creators to do is exhausting. Social media seems like the least useful and is the thing I spend the least time on, yet it's what I spend the most time worrying about.
Taking long breaks is necessary and reinventing your social media is also necessary. It’s progress. We can’t get sucked into that world. It’s not reality. A little post here and there but honestly it’s not the most important. It’s your actual writing that is the most important! Have a great year ahead🩷🩷🩷
Connection and vulnerability with hope. That’s what I want to be on social media. It’s interesting that the two posts I’ve gotten the most attention on have been talking about NOT reading from our TBR but slowing down and re-reading an old book in November. And also giving people permission not to read my novel if they’re feeling overwhelmed in the season they’re in. It will still be there when they’re ready. It seems everyone is a bit burned out on this crazy race.
wow, I'm totally inspired by the idea of giving permission to not read my book. It will be there when they're ready. That's generosty, giving people the gift of their time. Thank you, Emily Barnett.
Wow, is this timely. I took an unplanned break from social media this summer, and one thing I learned is that the platform-building efforts I had been working so hard on don't honor my reality at this point in my life. They may at some point, but I needed a reset and to reflect on my priorities and use of time. I'm excited to see what you have coming next on this topic.
This really resonated with me as I've been feeling angsty about social media for awhile now but unsure what to do about it as I've been "sold" the idea that a professional writer had better be on socials. I continue to post, with intention and purpose, mostly for engagement but recently for marketing as my second novel just launched. It just feels like a slog, not a joy. I want to invoke more joy in my life. Like you, I'm in my 50s. If not now, when?
I retired from Instagram when it got too volatile and returned to Facebook where I interact with my local community for buying and selling, organizing, community events, etc. I see old friends travel pics and photos of their kids. A place where grandmas can go and everyone is chill. There's no sense of urgency and self promotion isn't the main thing.
It's always so refreshing to hear someone like you talk about how the "rules" aren't actually rules. That we can do what we want. I've been trying to think of social media as a publishing platform, where instead of making content attempting to gear it towards an algorithm, I'm just making stuff I enjoy, and then publishing/sharing it. That, combined with deleting the apps from my phone for all but half an hour or so a day has made it a much more enjoyable experience. But I really like your idea of curating it even more, and being even more selective about who/what I'm following, etc.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on social media. I was very antisocial media until a few months ago, when I was told that I have to create an author platform. Now I’m just ambivalent haha! At first I felt all this pressure to market myself but it felt so unnatural. I appreciate that a platform is more than just how many followers you have. Right now, I’m just focusing on writing articles and getting them published and engaging with other authors here on Substack which I recently joined. I’m hoping that will be enough. I still have a ways to go with my memoir and accepting that makes it a bit easier.
Love this!!! It’s so funny that you just shared this because I have been doing the same thing with my social media. I started posting nothing to very little and just yesterday started purging some followers / friends. I just want to share my life with people I care about and that genuinely care about me (and my writing). That’s why I love this Substack platform so much.
This! I've decided to purge my Facebook list to actual people I know. I can't keep worrying about the numbers. They don't really mean anything, anyway.
This essay is hopeful and helpful. I have been overwhelmed by social media and not sure how to tame it. Thank you, Dan, for showing me a different way to look at it.
Thank you for this post and the timing couldn’t be more on point. I too just left social media and while I have done this before, taken a break, I have not really considered what you’re sharing here. These insights are so helpful on my return and how I want to intentionally use the platforms. On this break I have just started my substack so this is all new to me. Yet I am finding this platform and community so refreshing and inspiring. You have given me a lot to consider and I appreciate that so much. Now Im off to make some art and contemplate your words. Thank you!
Your timing is impeccable, Dan. Last week Meta asked me to fill out a survey that included all kinds of questions about how I felt about the value their various services did or did not add to my personal life and to the world as a whole. I had one (qualified) semi-positive thing to say and realized that all of my other answers were deeply negative. Not for the first time, I wanted to trash the whole thing. And not for the first time I thought, "If I wasn't an author who has been encouraged to engage readers through social media, I'd delete my accounts today."
I also realized how much I miss the Internet of the Aughties, which was largely blog-based. I loved that Internet. I published my own blog and followed about a dozen, very deliberately and with complete joy. There was no algorithm pushing me to look at or like or follow anything other than what I found myself. And finding a creator out there you didn't know about was like finding something precious at a flea market.
I think I would be happier by leaving social media and focusing on growing my Substacks (one writer-oriented and one reader-oriented), which is a lot like blogging. I'm going to be thinking about what I really want to do during the remainder of the year. I've been positioning 2025 as kind of a sabbatical year for me after publishing six books in six years. A year when I can focus on writing and on my own real life as my now-widowed mother and mother-in-law need more love and attention, my son is entering his last couple years of high school, and we have two international trips planned. It seems a natural time to deactivate my Facebook and Instagram accounts and just see how life feels when I do (I predict it will feel great).
Thank you for sharing your process and reflections here Erin!!! Yay for 6 books in 6 years!
It's interesting you state that if it weren't for being an author, you'd never be on Facebook. That's exactly my experience. I never post anything personal there and now I've given up on my FB author page too. I'm leaving it out there but not investing any time or effort on it.
I started my blog 12 years ago and "had to" open social media accounts. Now Instagram is where all my favorite people are. I just saved my blog from technological annihilation and joined Substack to try to recreat that community you mentioned we all used to have. Thanks for reminding me of that time. I hope to gain back that feeling again somehow.
Thanks!
I feel all this, Erin. Totally get it. I've said so many times to friends in private, "If I wasn't trying to be a professional author, I'd get off socials."
I’ve been trying a social media fast lately. Kinda the opposite of yours, Dan. No scrolling. No reading the overwhelmingly political posts on my feed right now. I post pictures of my garden, dogs, and painting space and enjoy the conversation about them with a small group of responders. My spouse is also doing this. The big aha: We are astonished at how much freed-up time and better overall mood we both have. I am aware that my book promotion is still ongoing (and as one of the novels was selected for a book of the month club I may need to engage again). But I’m curating the whole process much more thoughtfully. Just can’t get over how much time and inner space the fast has given me!
Neat to hear — thank you Mary!
I too have gravitated to pictures of my flowers and bugs and birds and some sounds. Even though I have a book launch this fall, I'm trying to grab each day and breathe it in. Life is good.
I absolutely love this essay. I’ve been working on an essay titled « Why I’m Quiet Quitting Social Media. » It’s about using social media in more strategic, targeted ways as a writer to engage my readers rather than spending hours scrolling or worrying about how each of my posts is performing. It can be tough, particularly because social media is so inconsistent. Some days lots of people see my work and other days a very small number sees it. It can feel disheartening, so I am very much aligned in your thinking on how to use it more deliberately.
Thank you Danielle!
This is a timely post as I think about how to spend precious time. Thank you. Trying to do everything conventional wisdom tell creators to do is exhausting. Social media seems like the least useful and is the thing I spend the least time on, yet it's what I spend the most time worrying about.
Thanks Nancy!
Taking long breaks is necessary and reinventing your social media is also necessary. It’s progress. We can’t get sucked into that world. It’s not reality. A little post here and there but honestly it’s not the most important. It’s your actual writing that is the most important! Have a great year ahead🩷🩷🩷
Thank you Christina!
Connection and vulnerability with hope. That’s what I want to be on social media. It’s interesting that the two posts I’ve gotten the most attention on have been talking about NOT reading from our TBR but slowing down and re-reading an old book in November. And also giving people permission not to read my novel if they’re feeling overwhelmed in the season they’re in. It will still be there when they’re ready. It seems everyone is a bit burned out on this crazy race.
wow, I'm totally inspired by the idea of giving permission to not read my book. It will be there when they're ready. That's generosty, giving people the gift of their time. Thank you, Emily Barnett.
Indeed. Thanks Emily!
Oh, needed to add…I love the photo of your mom and her dog! So special!
Awe, thank you!
Wow, is this timely. I took an unplanned break from social media this summer, and one thing I learned is that the platform-building efforts I had been working so hard on don't honor my reality at this point in my life. They may at some point, but I needed a reset and to reflect on my priorities and use of time. I'm excited to see what you have coming next on this topic.
Thanks Maria!
This really resonated with me as I've been feeling angsty about social media for awhile now but unsure what to do about it as I've been "sold" the idea that a professional writer had better be on socials. I continue to post, with intention and purpose, mostly for engagement but recently for marketing as my second novel just launched. It just feels like a slog, not a joy. I want to invoke more joy in my life. Like you, I'm in my 50s. If not now, when?
Yep! Thanks Shelley!
I retired from Instagram when it got too volatile and returned to Facebook where I interact with my local community for buying and selling, organizing, community events, etc. I see old friends travel pics and photos of their kids. A place where grandmas can go and everyone is chill. There's no sense of urgency and self promotion isn't the main thing.
Thanks Johanna!
It's always so refreshing to hear someone like you talk about how the "rules" aren't actually rules. That we can do what we want. I've been trying to think of social media as a publishing platform, where instead of making content attempting to gear it towards an algorithm, I'm just making stuff I enjoy, and then publishing/sharing it. That, combined with deleting the apps from my phone for all but half an hour or so a day has made it a much more enjoyable experience. But I really like your idea of curating it even more, and being even more selective about who/what I'm following, etc.
Thank you Sarah!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on social media. I was very antisocial media until a few months ago, when I was told that I have to create an author platform. Now I’m just ambivalent haha! At first I felt all this pressure to market myself but it felt so unnatural. I appreciate that a platform is more than just how many followers you have. Right now, I’m just focusing on writing articles and getting them published and engaging with other authors here on Substack which I recently joined. I’m hoping that will be enough. I still have a ways to go with my memoir and accepting that makes it a bit easier.
Thank you Rafia!
Love this!!! It’s so funny that you just shared this because I have been doing the same thing with my social media. I started posting nothing to very little and just yesterday started purging some followers / friends. I just want to share my life with people I care about and that genuinely care about me (and my writing). That’s why I love this Substack platform so much.
Thanks Leonora!
This! I've decided to purge my Facebook list to actual people I know. I can't keep worrying about the numbers. They don't really mean anything, anyway.
This essay is hopeful and helpful. I have been overwhelmed by social media and not sure how to tame it. Thank you, Dan, for showing me a different way to look at it.
Thanks Mary Ann!
Thank you for this! How I needed these words today! I appreciate your kind inspiration.
Thanks Tracey!
Thank you for this post and the timing couldn’t be more on point. I too just left social media and while I have done this before, taken a break, I have not really considered what you’re sharing here. These insights are so helpful on my return and how I want to intentionally use the platforms. On this break I have just started my substack so this is all new to me. Yet I am finding this platform and community so refreshing and inspiring. You have given me a lot to consider and I appreciate that so much. Now Im off to make some art and contemplate your words. Thank you!
Thank you Beckett!