I'm not a hunter or a fisher, but it seems to me that if there is one metaphor for the transition I'm seeing and the advice you're recommending here is that overall, social media is moving from a net fishing industry to a hunting industry. In other words, the goal used to be gathering as many fish in the net as possible. That's just not how things work anymore. Instead, the best strategy is to proactively hunt down those single, intentional connections, one person at a time. But honestly, that's closer to real life, and I hope will be, in the long run, better for our minds and hearts.
I was thinking the same thing! Dan wrote: “So often, we are scared to reach out to other people, worrying that we might be bothering them. I’m encouraging you to take that risk. It’s worth it.” And today I hesitate to text a couple of new friends I had made and tell them about my Substack newsletter, but then I thought, what the heck! What’s the worst thing that can happen? I texted them a screenshot and asked if they wanted to read it. 😅
Terrific insight as always, Dan. I recently heard @Jane Friedman say that social media followers are not platform, they are a RESULT of platform. Like your thoughts today, that really changed my thinking. Not WHERE can I be SEEN but WHO can I CONNECT with? Putting ourselves “out there” — that first vulnerable post, a video! Ugh — is hard enough, and intimate connections can feel even harder. A email telling an author you admire her work. A LinkedIn message asking a long-ago coworker how they’re doing? An in-person poetry reading. As E.M. Forster said, “Only connect.” ☘️❤️
Exactly what I’ve been grappling with lately and exactly what I needed to hear, as an author and a human. I used to complain about social media but now that it is fragmenting I kinda miss the water cooler aspect of it. I think it’s another example of our monoculture slipping away and being nostalgic for it. But if we can concentrate on smaller more meaningful communities, that’s something. Thank you for this perspective.
Wow... this newsletter is exactly how I have been feeling. I have opted out of some things. I am using Facebook for a lot of my connecting because it feels like I "can maybe" do a little controlling of it. Just this week I have scrolled through my feed, and "hidden" things that are asking me to follow them. Some I have "blocked." I couldn't believe how I was seeing more of my friends and partners in crime. Yes, I am seeing more "follow" items, but for three days this week I went through maybe 50 (each time) scrolling down and hid or blocked them. It is a test to see what happens there. I have a following on FB and for my art career it is where I share and give.
Excellent piece, Dan. I love the advice about seeking a third option -- applies not just to how we approach social media, but also other conundrums (for me, lately, those occur in both life and writing). I'm taking a break this week from all Meta apps, and while I'm enjoying it -- I'm engaging more here on Substack and also on Bluesky, and that's it -- I also miss my FB groups, as well as the wonderful connections I've curated through my FB author page. I find I'm not missing IG or Threads at all (other than keeping up with my college-aged son's IG stories; it's the only way I know what he's up to) -- so that tells me something. Lots to ponder...thanks again for the thoughtful post.
I also feel as though it's about 'everything comes around in circles.' (Writing this as a Dizzy Gillespie record spins on my turntable.) I am wanting (craving?) more actual in-person social connection and one of my goals is to actually connect with people more in-person. I will certainly use social meeting to post my writing, but for connections with people? I want in directly again.
This was a great read and such a good conversation to be having. I've had to find the balance of doing what I need to do to share my work and market my business while doing it in a way that feels sustainable and playful. It's important to remember the landscape is always changing and we can always shift and adjust the way we approach it to better fit our current season of life!
To your question, I've decided that I mostly want to help the people I can help. But I haven't quite figured out how best to expand my reach and gradually find more those people. Seems like exploring what others put out there and engaging with that could be a start. But then again so many people are observing and not posting up a storm. So then I guess it's an SEO game? 🤔
Yes, I notice this too, with the non-posting. I view this as my opportunity to show up and be the example. If others like you, me, and Dan are posting and engaging, it shows others that it is safe and OKAY to engage and post too :)
Thank you for this informative and useful article. I love the idea of deleting everyone - and the somatic reaction that created. I have always wished Instagram had category folders. All of my writing folks here - all of my fashion folks here. It would eliminate the scroll and the ads. Which I know defeats much of their purpose. Hope your family feels better!
I've been wrestling with social media extra hard over the past week. It's been a fire hose of panic and rage, and at least some of it feels intentional. Algorithms funnel all that to drive traffic and increase the amount of time people spend on platforms. It never occurred to me to look for that third alternative - great Star Trek analogy! I'm going to try the downloading/bookmarking idea. Always appreciate your thoughtful insights, Dan.
It’s a constant struggle, for sure. The algorithms are changing every month, it seems like. Instagram has become a giant ghost town. You provided a ton of useful points here and I loved how you got deep in some of them.
Not really related to the article (which is great and I’m still digesting) - but I have these same Sesame Street figures, as well as others plus the playhouse, furniture etc. Is this a stock photo or yours? Either way you brought me such an amazing blast from the past.
Thanks Liz! Those are my figures, I took a photo of them for this essay. I bought my son the entire vintage lineup of Sesame Street characters and playsets a few years ago, so he could play with them.
Amazing! That’s a keeper set, for sure. Glad my family held on to mine. Love that your son has the opportunity to play with something so meaningful to generations.
I’m one of those people who has mostly given up trying to be on every platform. I’ve fallen back on Substack and RSS feeds. I seriously don’t know why RSS feeds aren’t more popular. I pick a handful of valuable sources and download them directly. No ads, no algorithms, no fuss. Who else is reading like it’s 2006?
I'm not a hunter or a fisher, but it seems to me that if there is one metaphor for the transition I'm seeing and the advice you're recommending here is that overall, social media is moving from a net fishing industry to a hunting industry. In other words, the goal used to be gathering as many fish in the net as possible. That's just not how things work anymore. Instead, the best strategy is to proactively hunt down those single, intentional connections, one person at a time. But honestly, that's closer to real life, and I hope will be, in the long run, better for our minds and hearts.
Oooh, fun (and useful) way to consider this! Thanks Sarah.
I was thinking the same thing! Dan wrote: “So often, we are scared to reach out to other people, worrying that we might be bothering them. I’m encouraging you to take that risk. It’s worth it.” And today I hesitate to text a couple of new friends I had made and tell them about my Substack newsletter, but then I thought, what the heck! What’s the worst thing that can happen? I texted them a screenshot and asked if they wanted to read it. 😅
Yay! Thanks.
Terrific insight as always, Dan. I recently heard @Jane Friedman say that social media followers are not platform, they are a RESULT of platform. Like your thoughts today, that really changed my thinking. Not WHERE can I be SEEN but WHO can I CONNECT with? Putting ourselves “out there” — that first vulnerable post, a video! Ugh — is hard enough, and intimate connections can feel even harder. A email telling an author you admire her work. A LinkedIn message asking a long-ago coworker how they’re doing? An in-person poetry reading. As E.M. Forster said, “Only connect.” ☘️❤️
Thank you Catherine!
Exactly what I’ve been grappling with lately and exactly what I needed to hear, as an author and a human. I used to complain about social media but now that it is fragmenting I kinda miss the water cooler aspect of it. I think it’s another example of our monoculture slipping away and being nostalgic for it. But if we can concentrate on smaller more meaningful communities, that’s something. Thank you for this perspective.
Thank you Libby!
Wow... this newsletter is exactly how I have been feeling. I have opted out of some things. I am using Facebook for a lot of my connecting because it feels like I "can maybe" do a little controlling of it. Just this week I have scrolled through my feed, and "hidden" things that are asking me to follow them. Some I have "blocked." I couldn't believe how I was seeing more of my friends and partners in crime. Yes, I am seeing more "follow" items, but for three days this week I went through maybe 50 (each time) scrolling down and hid or blocked them. It is a test to see what happens there. I have a following on FB and for my art career it is where I share and give.
Thank you Marsha!
Excellent piece, Dan. I love the advice about seeking a third option -- applies not just to how we approach social media, but also other conundrums (for me, lately, those occur in both life and writing). I'm taking a break this week from all Meta apps, and while I'm enjoying it -- I'm engaging more here on Substack and also on Bluesky, and that's it -- I also miss my FB groups, as well as the wonderful connections I've curated through my FB author page. I find I'm not missing IG or Threads at all (other than keeping up with my college-aged son's IG stories; it's the only way I know what he's up to) -- so that tells me something. Lots to ponder...thanks again for the thoughtful post.
Thanks Cynthia!
I also feel as though it's about 'everything comes around in circles.' (Writing this as a Dizzy Gillespie record spins on my turntable.) I am wanting (craving?) more actual in-person social connection and one of my goals is to actually connect with people more in-person. I will certainly use social meeting to post my writing, but for connections with people? I want in directly again.
Nice. Thanks Raymond!
This was a great read and such a good conversation to be having. I've had to find the balance of doing what I need to do to share my work and market my business while doing it in a way that feels sustainable and playful. It's important to remember the landscape is always changing and we can always shift and adjust the way we approach it to better fit our current season of life!
Thanks Ruthie!
This is really great, thank you.
To your question, I've decided that I mostly want to help the people I can help. But I haven't quite figured out how best to expand my reach and gradually find more those people. Seems like exploring what others put out there and engaging with that could be a start. But then again so many people are observing and not posting up a storm. So then I guess it's an SEO game? 🤔
Thanks Jess! I think I see it more as a relationship/networking effort.
I like that!
Yes, I notice this too, with the non-posting. I view this as my opportunity to show up and be the example. If others like you, me, and Dan are posting and engaging, it shows others that it is safe and OKAY to engage and post too :)
That's a great point, thanks Amanda!
Thank you for this informative and useful article. I love the idea of deleting everyone - and the somatic reaction that created. I have always wished Instagram had category folders. All of my writing folks here - all of my fashion folks here. It would eliminate the scroll and the ads. Which I know defeats much of their purpose. Hope your family feels better!
Thank you Karen!
I admit I’m there for the cute puppy pics. And my friend’s dog’s social account. 😉
Yes! Thanks Melissa.
I've been wrestling with social media extra hard over the past week. It's been a fire hose of panic and rage, and at least some of it feels intentional. Algorithms funnel all that to drive traffic and increase the amount of time people spend on platforms. It never occurred to me to look for that third alternative - great Star Trek analogy! I'm going to try the downloading/bookmarking idea. Always appreciate your thoughtful insights, Dan.
Thanks Joni!
It’s a constant struggle, for sure. The algorithms are changing every month, it seems like. Instagram has become a giant ghost town. You provided a ton of useful points here and I loved how you got deep in some of them.
Thank you Blaise!
This was interesting. I have been unfollowing people lately. Quantity is better than quality.
I quit all social media 11 years ago and haven't looked back. I wrote about it:
https://sassone.wordpress.com/2014/08/13/thoughts-on-social-media/
Not really related to the article (which is great and I’m still digesting) - but I have these same Sesame Street figures, as well as others plus the playhouse, furniture etc. Is this a stock photo or yours? Either way you brought me such an amazing blast from the past.
Thanks Liz! Those are my figures, I took a photo of them for this essay. I bought my son the entire vintage lineup of Sesame Street characters and playsets a few years ago, so he could play with them.
Amazing! That’s a keeper set, for sure. Glad my family held on to mine. Love that your son has the opportunity to play with something so meaningful to generations.
Thanks Liz!
I’m one of those people who has mostly given up trying to be on every platform. I’ve fallen back on Substack and RSS feeds. I seriously don’t know why RSS feeds aren’t more popular. I pick a handful of valuable sources and download them directly. No ads, no algorithms, no fuss. Who else is reading like it’s 2006?
Yay RSS! Thanks Anna.